I've been thinking for weeks now.
Weeks and weeks of disturbed thoughts, clouded thinking and CONFUSION have been going in and out of my mind all the time. Its because I have a decision to make. You know those once in a lifetime decisions you have to make? The ones where you have to make a choice, and if you don't pick the right one, you'll regret it forever? Yeah, that's what's been in my mind for weeks. And to think that this problem is nothing compared to what others have been experiencing.
It's about BREAKING UP WITH Nj. It's about ending a relationship at 11 months. It's about making others think I'm crazy for losing my love for him at this stage in our relationship. Many are doubting of my decision. Many are asking why? And it's making me more confused in the process.
I don't know what to do right now. I'm sure I have reasons why I want (correction: HAVE) to break up with him:
- He has no EFFORT. It was not until someone told him that I was feeling bad that he now calls everyday and asks about my day. SHEESH. Talk about a bad boyfriend.
- He has no COMMUNICATION. No cellphone, seldom online (and when he IS, its all GAMES and me ALWAYS buzzing), doesn't call. Sometimes, I have to call. And I'm the GIRL.
- He has lost his romantic touch. What happened to the sweet surprises? The flowers you NEVER brought? The sacrifice you were supposed to do just to visit me at school?
Don't you think that's enough reason? Enough reason to break up? What I'm angry about is that he's just realized it NOW. And I'm tired of that. I wish that he's take the TIME and EFFORT to me. I also realized that I am capable of myself without him. I still have a bunch of great friends right? A bunch of great friends who'll never leave my side :)
You might be wondering what my final decision is BUT I CAN'T DECIDE NOW. Probably, I will and probably I won't. We'll just have to wait and see.
Till then,
Jam :)
