2010 baybeh.

And so another year has come. WOW. I don't believe it. The year that passed was such an eventful year, I don't think it would fit in one book :)))

I guess I'll start this blog entry with my resolutions, since that's what New Year is about right?

CHANGE.

So, here's what I vow to do this year:

1. GET BETTER GRADES. And so the overachiever in me will get good grades and make MY MOM proud. I don't like to mention my dad, because he doesn't care at all.

2. BE MORE OPEN MINDED. I will open up to the gaming world, broaden my horizons because according to someone CS is considered CHOOPS. pffft. Anyway, I'm willing to learn all those online games that guys are addicted to. after all, I used to be a guy too :P

3. LAAG MORE. This is my chance for freedom, and for going home late :) I have boundaries and curfews and I'll make sure to follow them.

4. GAIN MORE FRIENDS. Yes, yes. My mom tells me I have too much, but you can never have too many friends, right? :D

5. BE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND. I'll be the best he's ever had :)



Uhhhm, I think that was all. HAHAHA. Gosh, na wad.an ko gamay sa mood. LOL.


'Till next time, FORKS AND SPOONS! :)

CHRISTIAN DALE SAYSON: REVENGE NI SA PISO

Hey-loo!

Back once more :) I know that not many people read my blog so I'll get the chance to shout this out to one person in particular who enjoys reading the entry with CBT as my topic :))

HELLO CHRISTIAN DALE BUZON SAYSON! :))) aka eyeglass boy, akng BATA :), Mr. Piso, etc etc.

This is my first blog entry about YOU, YOU, YOU and YOU :)) HAHAHA.

Cgeeeee hmmm, for the first time ever. I'm kinda lost for words. Maybe because you're on my mind or maybe because, watching this video about a murderer with a spoon takes my mind off writing :)) LOL

naahh. first of all, I don't know the reason why I fell for you. HAHAHAHA. you didn't trip me (hahay corny) and I certainly didn't fall from a cliff. HAHA. XD

Love can never be explained, and yeah that's how I feel for you. ka random ani oyy :)) my gosh.

we've just turned 2 on 24 and I REALLY MISS YOUU! HAHAHA sauce, if only silingan tah :)) nabanhaw njud ko's amng balay bahh. I hope magdugay tah and I hope yeah, ikao njud ang THE ONE!

P.S. pa tudlo ko'g ragna, dota ug magic :)) HAHA one-on-one nya ta'g tekken :))


-THIS BLOG ENTRY ENDS HERE-

INTRAMURALS

J-U-N-I-O-R-S!

It's hardly been two weeks and Intramurals practices are finally over. Everyone, especially me, can't believe that tomorrow's gonna be the start of our 3-day Intramurals.

I'm not really 100% happy with our Cheers and Yells. I mean, I love the cheers and formations and everything but STEREOTYPING has made it's presence clear among the Juniors through our props and costumes. I'm really angry at those who want to be DIFFERENT from the others, at those who want SOCIAL STATUS to be the basis for their props. Why can't the cheerers, who compose the body of the Juniors wear cool costumers like the cheerleader and players? I mean, our props are pretty okay but we paid 100 PESOS. I repeat 100 PESOS for our props and all we get are 3 stinkin' flowers and straws. What's worse is the flowers aren't blue, they're yellow green. And we expected it to be the same with the dancers. VERY UNFAIR.

If I were a cheerleader for this year, I'd make sure that everyone has the same costumes, and the players and the cheerleaders would be DISTINGUISHED FROM WHO THEY ARE, WITHOUT INSULTING THE REST OF US CHEERERS.

AND PEOPLE SHOULDN'T GET BIG HEADS just because they were picked as CHEERLEADERS OR CHEER DANCERS. You should remember that you're supposed to be uniting the class and the batch as ONE. You're not supposed to be strutting and posing and complaining, you shouldn't be LOOKING DOWN AT US. You were a cheerer once, you know how it feels.

Anyway, screw the costumes and the props. AS OF NOW, I DON'T REALLY CARE AS LONG AS I'M HAVING A HELL OF A GOOD TIME, THAT'S FOR SURE.

I promised myself that every year is my best year, and I'm gonna make this year my best YET.

THIRD YEAR DISSAPOINTMENTS.

And when you're fifteen.

YES. Fifteen. That age wherein LOVE is much more complicated, DRAMA is a part of your life and TRIALS and STRUGGLES are very much there to trouble you even more.

I've been very troubled lately. A lot of things have been going on my mind since mom left for Maryland to work as a SPED teacher. I'm listing (I seem to enjoy lists) the things that have been bothering me lately:

• I've just realized that I can't get over the fact that Aljen and I aren't MU anymore. When we first met, it was like I didn't expect we'd share something special after only a span of what? 2 weeks. I learned he liked me too through a truth or dare game. And after a week of MU, he opened up a conversation through phone that he wanted to end it now for the reason that IF WE'D BECOME AN ITEM AND BREAK UP, WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SHARE THE SAME FRIENDSHIP WE'RE SHARING NOW. I found it pretty shallow, which just proved that he really doesn't love me. He wasn't ready, wasn't determined. And I gave my all for him. So much for Karma.

• Dad and I can't seem to get along. He treats me as if I'm invisible. He won't listen to my suggestions, to what I'd say just because he THINKS I'M TOO IMMATURE, THAT I'M NOT YET AN ADULT AND THAT SINCE HE'S OLDER HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT. But in fairness, I'm the one who knows whats right (most of the time). DAMN! I want to tell him how I feel about the way he's treating me. ARRRGH. And you know what else? HE LIKES MY AUNTIE! MY MOM'S SISTER! TALK ABOUT TRAITOR! I accidentally saw a picture of my auntie that he took wherein she was sleeping in her shorts. FUCK! O.o

• I'm finding that in most of the things that I want to achieve in, I fail. Tryouts for Soccer Baseball? I DIDN'T MAKE IT. Finals for Chamber Theathre? WE DIDN'T WIN. Chosen as a Cheerleader? I WASN'T CHOSEN. I wanted Third Year to be the best year yet. I wanted it to start really well. But instead, it started the way I didn't want it to start.

So far, those are the things that's going on in my mind right now. Why are there always hardships and struggles to be encountered? Why are there always mistakes and failures?

And then I remember the classic saying: "THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON"

There's a reason why Aljen and I had to end this "thing" that we had, there's a reason why Dad and I don't get along right now, and there's a reason why things just aren't going the way I want it to.

Maybe, God has something better planned for me.

I wouldn't know, what if God wants me and Aljen to get to know each other better? What if God wants me and Dad to be stronger for the future? And what if in the months to come, things will go my way at last.

For now, all I have to do is hope that things WILL get better.

Till my next entry,

Jam =]

Worst Summer EVER.

So far, this is the worst Summer I have ever had.

For one, I didn't get to enjoy my laag sessions with my friends because I was always accompanied by my parents and they were too strict for their own good, fetching me as if I don't know how to use Public Transportation. And for two, WE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH YET. It's May, for crying out loud. For thrice, I miss my friends terribly and I can't visit them because I'm stuck in this house. For fourth, I didn't even get to take my Drums Lessons. Well, at least one good thing came off from this Horrible Summer: SOCCER :) My most favorite sport in the World (mainly because I play it and Cristiano Ronaldo is such a HOT TAMALE). But sadly though, my hopes of a soccer-ful ending to summer is getting slimmer because we're short three players for the tournament down in Negros. The Negros was supposed to be a chance for my team to be better and more experienced, to experience a different culture but most of all, it was supposed to be a chance to escape this retched summer of mine.

If this Negros thing doesn't work out, then maybe the End-of-Summer Laag will. It's this crazy idea I have of doing all the stuff we did this summer that was fun like Swimming (which I did only up to the depths of Paseo De San Ramon), watching movies (like F&F 4 and Race to Witch Mountain), playing in Timezone (I don't know if I did this) and of course, drinking in Starbucks and eating in McDonald's. I know it's a little far-fetched, (okay REALLY FAR-FETCHED) but hey; I can dream, right? It's not as if I can't make or will these to happen, right?

YAWN. Time Check. 12:21. I guess I should hit the sack right now (is that the right term?), my eyelids are starting (okay, are already) drooping.

'till next time arayt?

Jam :)

Make-Up or Break-Up?

I've been thinking for weeks now.

Weeks and weeks of disturbed thoughts, clouded thinking and CONFUSION have been going in and out of my mind all the time. Its because I have a decision to make. You know those once in a lifetime decisions you have to make? The ones where you have to make a choice, and if you don't pick the right one, you'll regret it forever? Yeah, that's what's been in my mind for weeks. And to think that this problem is nothing compared to what others have been experiencing.

It's about BREAKING UP WITH Nj. It's about ending a relationship at 11 months. It's about making others think I'm crazy for losing my love for him at this stage in our relationship. Many are doubting of my decision. Many are asking why? And it's making me more confused in the process.

I don't know what to do right now. I'm sure I have reasons why I want (correction: HAVE) to break up with him:

• He has no EFFORT. It was not until someone told him that I was feeling bad that he now calls everyday and asks about my day. SHEESH. Talk about a bad boyfriend.
• He has no COMMUNICATION. No cellphone, seldom online (and when he IS, its all GAMES and me ALWAYS buzzing), doesn't call. Sometimes, I have to call. And I'm the GIRL.
• He has lost his romantic touch. What happened to the sweet surprises? The flowers you NEVER brought? The sacrifice you were supposed to do just to visit me at school?

Don't you think that's enough reason? Enough reason to break up? What I'm angry about is that he's just realized it NOW. And I'm tired of that. I wish that he's take the TIME and EFFORT to me. I also realized that I am capable of myself without him. I still have a bunch of great friends right? A bunch of great friends who'll never leave my side :)

You might be wondering what my final decision is BUT I CAN'T DECIDE NOW. Probably, I will and probably I won't. We'll just have to wait and see.

Till then,

Jam :)